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Dear Diary

Posted on Sat Aug 12th, 2017 @ 11:44pm by Master Warrant Officer Lucinda Ingham

Mission: S2E1 - Secrets
Location: Lucinda's Quarters
Timeline: Mission Day 100; 23:00

It had been another long day for the El-Aurian doctor - the call out to Engineering was only the first of an overall three. Although she had managed to make a new friend Lucinda still found herself wondering about things. Her parents had been so keen for her to become a Starfleet doctor and now she was one Lucinda seldom heard from them.

With her daughter Lorelai fast asleep with the family's cat for company Lucinda was sat in her room looking out of the window. She was used to seeing the planet which they had been in orbit of for over two weeks but now Lucinda found herself looking at the stars. The stars Lucinda had initially not been massively keen on travelling amongst. There were so many places on her own homeworld - Proxima Colony - that she had never seen. Her true homeworld El-Auria had been destroyed by the Borg and whilst her parents had both been born on El-Auria they had left prior to the Borg's attack.

By the time Stephen and Abigail planned to go back to El-Auria to raise their family it was long gone. Her parents adopted human names after moving to Proxima Colony - something Lucinda never had really understood.

Lucinda reached for her diary which she kept under her pillow and took out her fountain pen which was attached to the diary's cover by the clip on its handle. She then started to write.

Dear Diary,

I haven't written to you for a long time. Maybe I just forgot to and I can only apologise.

I find myself looking at the stars once again. The stars I have travelled amongst almost constantly for the past seven years. I'm thinking to myself whether I will ever see that star and whether I'm actually out here for myself or my parents. I love my job. I love helping people get better. But it's not something I couldn't do on Proxima Colony or even on Earth.

I've been alone for so long. Since John Paul died eight years ago it has been so hard to bring Lorelai up by myself and tell her how amazing her father was. I so hard to be there for her and everyone else who needs me - whether that's a patient or a friend. Nobody is there for me. We have an excellent department head in Sickbay who is there for us all and we all really enjoy working under his leadership - but I think we both know that isn't what I'm on about.

What more could I want? I have a great career and an amazing daughter. For sure my family are probably there for me if I need them but they're not here. I'm out here and they're out there. I knew where we would end up by accepting a position on the Vindex - in fact my father encouraged me to come here instead of accepting a position back on Earth. I didn't know why until I got here - and now I keep thinking whether I'm here because I want to be or because he told me to accept the role here.

I wish I could tell her. She could be there for me.


Lucinda re-read her entry before placing the lid back on the pen and clipping it onto the cover. Placing her diary back under the pillow she lay on her side looking out of the window. Thoughts circled her head about what to do - for sure writing how she felt in her diary helped - but Lucinda often didn't know what to do about them afterwards. Forgetting about her feelings wasn't always easy to do - and it certainly wasn't the best thing to do either.

Before long however Lucinda fell asleep on top of her duvet.

She had no idea how difficult the next day was going to be.


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